is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
