I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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