therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
