This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
