morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
