My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize