so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
