At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
