Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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