Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
