I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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