Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
