Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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