He disabled his match.com account in front of me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
