Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize