hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
