its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
