How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
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We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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