Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
