Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
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She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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