if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I smell like Dick and happiness
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
