the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
