Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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