Please, let me fuck your mom
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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