I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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