girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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