she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
