It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
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Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
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Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
