I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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