im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
