I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.