hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
