I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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