Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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