Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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