yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
