once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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