so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
