You smell like stripper and shame
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
