and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It was confusing and full of hummus
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
