I want to walk on stilts...naked
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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