Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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