Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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