Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
