I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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