you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
