I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
