erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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