they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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