just tell him i said nine months
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
that is very illegal...i love you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
