Me too!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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