I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
