So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
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my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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