She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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