oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
