Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
