Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
