I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
