any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
