Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
