we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
