I didn't shave. On purpose
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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