Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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