I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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