i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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