some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
