I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Did I show you my penis last night?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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