That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
