batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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