Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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